Dearest Catherine,

Those words you read to me echo in my mind :

"...when I stood forlorn

"Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;

"That neither present time nor years unborn

"Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.**

I thought I would never see you again. I thought I had lost you. Catherine, I knew there would come a time when your path would lead away from me. But what I never could imagine was the pain I felt when that day came. You must do everything you were meant to do -- for me; for both of us. To try to stop you would be to mock everything we believe in. And yet, to live by what is right can sometimes be so difficult.

Our bond has given me a freedom I've never known before. Through you I have seen a world I had only dreamed of. When that world of possibilities seemed to end, I could not think, I could not breathe. I had lost myself. And in that moment of vulnerability, I fell prey to those that would do me harm.

When I awoke I was in a cage, trapped. My strength, my will, my hope had left me. I could no longer fight. What was there to fight for? I could feel myself slipping away.

Freedom for me has always been circumscribed by who I am, by what I am. I have never accepted those limits. From the time I was very young I promised myself never to become a prisoner of my fate. I took the risk. I went Above. Father always protested, but these risks brought me great solace. The alleys, the shadows, the rooftops were mine. They belonged to me. When I traveled them, my freedom was limitless. But I traveled them alone -- until the night I found you. And then we traveled them together.

When fate called you down another path, I felt all was lost, that I had been forgotten. I had lost my freedom. I had lost my faith, and in that cage I was dying. As darkness clouded my sight, I looked up...and saw you. I thought it was a vision. I could not believe you had come for me. In that cage, I had lost my belief in everything, but you were there to remind me that there is a power greater than evil, greater than disillusionment, greater than fear. You were there to remind me. For that -- for everything, there are no words except -- thank you.

Sleep well, my dearest Catherine. Sleep well.

**William Wordsworth, 'Surprised by Joy.'

"Surprised by joy -- impatient as the wind

"I turned to share the transport -- Oh! with whom

"But thee, deep buried in the silent tomb,

"That spot which no vicissitude can find?

"Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind --

"But how could I forget thee? Through what power,

"Even for the least division of an hour,

"Have I been so beguiled as to be blind

"To my most grievous loss! -- That thought's return

"Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,

"Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,

"Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;

"That neither present time nor years unborn

"Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.